manhood and women

I feel like men and manhood are so strange, but bell hooks's chapter about manhood in all about love seriously resounded with me. She quotes John Stoltenberg who writes in his book The End of Manhood, "Loving justice between a man and woman does not stand a chance when other men's manhood matters more... Learning to live as a man of conscience means deciding that your loyalty to the people whom you love is always more important than whatever lingering loyalty you may sometimes feel to other men's judgement on your manhood."

It's so sad to see how much better people could be if they cared about women because their capacity to care, to give love into the world, is steadfast. I wish they cared about justice and viewing the world with equal eyes more than their masculinity, their belief in their identity specifically as men when truly, gender is not real. I don't believe God or whatever deity out there will judge us based on anything except our humanity, and I don't believe there's a difference between the humanity of women and men. We are all humans and all equally capable of love in a loving world. What I want these men to ask themselves is what is love? What isn't love, and how can I remove this from my life? What is the purpose of loving manhood more than loving humanity besides a self-serving one?