my thoughts on the hard launch of Dan and Phil (wip)

I was a phan at a young age, around 11. Like most of their audience I was a preteen girl on the internet coming across video entertainment and loving theirs. I was already 'a bit different': bullied for no reason, into emo culture, a girlie geeky gay goth lover (couldn't afford the clothes lmao). 

They were both relatable and funny and creative af too. They looked so good together, they complement each other physically on height and hair, and I loved to see love in action even if they never admitted it, even if it might've been considered "queerbaiting" (which I never thought), even if it wasn't sexual at all. The hard launch was a wonderful surprise that made the world brighter for me (and for all) because it's such an affirmation of queer soulmate love in this world I happened by chance to live in. I admit, I did believe they were together the whole time. Phil is not on fire (1) was full of flirty energy, Phil completely leaning into Dan's shoulder, drawing cat whiskers on each other's faces is such a cute flirty thing to do, and I'm great at reading body language like the cute aggression they both experienced. I find it really strange, if I think about it too long, that I get to witness this via the internet. What a strange technology that's drastically changed billions of lives over the decades. 

I strongly encourage queer love when I can.  I am the person to talk to about sex or kinky questions. I have been trusted enough to be someone's first person to come out to multiple times <333. I wish I could've been around for Dan (as he spoke/had more experiences with homophobia </3) and I'm so thankful that I actually know I'm a safe person to be around. I'm grateful that they feel free now in part to a community of millions of queer fans. I'm now eternally grateful that they forgave us for our uneducated, harmful mistakes and I'm so angry there was an actual section of homophobic Dan and Phil watchers, fed by a dominating culture of homophobia, queerphobia, and surveillance/undue scrutinization.