personal sad love thoughts

sharing because those tumblr instagram girlies that repost sad romantic heartbroken depressing stuff really scratches an itch in my brain sometimes

i don't remember us anymore and i can't tell if that's good or bad. i think about being wrapped up at night, but i don't remember your arms around me. i can't feel what it's like to be in love anymore. i know i want it, and i believe so strongly in it. the goal is to have love in life, i am pretty sure. but i don't remember what it was to laugh at your jokes and spend hours doing nothing together. there's something else i can't remember but i feel that i'm missing it too. is this what it's supposed to be? moving on is just forgetting, whether you want to or not.

i almost remember what it's like to be kissed, to hold somebody... to even want somebody the way i wanted you, but an actual remembrance is gone. i deleted all our photos and videos and that significantly aided the memory loss process. i remember coming across one incredibly sweet good night message with your crazy smile and i remembered that when i received it i felt loved, and i loved you. i don't remember what it's like to get those or even want to send them anymore. i don't remember being loved as much as i want to be loved... as much as i should be loved? am i good enough for that much love?

trying poetry

​ghost cheek kisses and phantom arms around mine
Let me show you how to feel.
be a spirit in a sunbeam with me, haunt me
be the echo of my charm bracelet, jingle when i shake my wrists.