poison love and healing from it

It’s incredibly frustrating that the root problem, over and over, is capitalism. Greed, abuse, dishonesty, amorality, the empire’s mind, has poisoned this world. How is it that one big mistake led to THIS many problems in our world? It’s big, sure, but how the fuck does it actually touch everything?

I guess I can try to answer this in two parts. It’s not one mistake made by one person, it’s billions of mistakes made by millions, perhaps billions of people too. Yet at the same time the mistake is humanity’s-- when we regard humanity as one self. I don’t like the word species but for lack of a better one, it’s our species’ mistake that we should fix as a whole species. The Earth can fix it for herself, but her method involves killing us. It’s really only up to us to find a way to stop killing ourselves.

We run on poison and are afraid we don’t know how to run without it. Maybe we don’t, but I think I believe we could figure it out. I believe there exists a possibility that we do know and can live that way. In the end, I guess I’m just an optimist right? a romantic idealist. I feel confident saying that love is the most real thing in the world. Capitalism has tied survival to itself, but love is what makes a life. Even the ones who kill us the most know that, and what’s pitiful about them is that they’ll never be able to grasp it as long as they keep killing us. Their eternal struggle would almost be comical if their poor mindset didn’t affect the whole world. That’s part of why I believe in love and why I believe this world is loveless. The Roys, the people in our world like them, they still chase after love even if they know it’s not real. And the love they offer isn't real because this world does not allow love to grow at all. 

Sooo, my suggestion is basically: let’s make love more real. Life is ruthless even without the burdens society places upon us. Grief and death and illness are inescapable for us all. So why the fuck would we add even more problems on top of it, to make society hurt others even more? What the fuck does that even do for humanity? How does hurting others help you? It makes you feel good, really? Better than love? I truly don’t think so, but maybe you’ve forgotten what love feels like because it’s been absent for so long.

What did your gender roles establish besides horrible standards for men and women to be bound to? Like y’all… for real…. Had fun doing all that? Seems like so much self-hatred, anti-humanity hate to me. It’s sad! But it’s also so fucking destructive and troublesome that basically all my attention needs to be on damage control rather than sympathy.

I feel a strong pull to do work that tries to make things better. When your life has been so shitty because of society, you sometimes get struck with the thought to make society better rather than make things worse. I’m not being nice to the world because I expect it to be nice to me. I’m being nice to the world because I know being nice makes it nicer. I’m part of the world, not separate, and what I do matters because I am alive. What I've done matters when I'm dead too. I’m definitely aware this world sucks, but I’m saying you can still try to not suck as much as possible. It’s actually pretty fun, putting love into the world. It’s even funner when you put love in and you get love back, but we can only get there if we actually DO THINGS TO GET THERE.

​I wish I could share my faith in love with everybody, because it is a hot flame that fuels my desire to build more loving worlds. Yeah, other people could go on about the personal benefits and more detailed societal changes but part of my drive is just the simple belief that love is real! I gotta live life as fiercely as I possibly can which to me means I gotta love. I’m a pretty rare person and I feel the need to burn extra brightly, so people don’t forget to love me too. This world would let me disappear but these little words are part of my way of hanging on and putting in my little seed of love. If the most I can do is bury it under some dirt then I will, with the hopes of rainfall in the future. We talk a lot about ending cycles of intergenerational trauma, but when do we start talking about beginning a cycle of love? Endings are beginnings too.