savior 2 and viktor from arcane

I recently watched Arcane season 2 and I knew​ it was gonna fuck me up but I expected it to be from Jinx, not Viktor and Jayce. I am so not normal about certain male couples (Quentin & Eliot, Arthur & Merlin) but how could I be, when writers give them the most insane tragic cosmic love stories. ​

Viktor and Jayce, Season 2 Episode 9 of Arcane

I want to save the world and I am a perfectionist.* I think a lot of scientists can relate and I see a lot of myself in Viktor with disability too. It seems unquestionably logical that if I could cure migraine I would and that the world would be better off without it. Part of me truly believes I'm a lesser person for having chronic migraine, mental illness, scary genes, and a scarred past. Genetic disorders like thalassemia are horrible and I support the choice to not have kids because of it. It's something I consider in my life that some people don't, but some people do. While I never believed in this final, glorious evolution Viktor kept ranting about, I still feel inadequate as myself like all those people that came to Herald/Hexcore Viktor. Honestly, I really needed to hear Jayce's speech and Viktor's words. Viktor got to speak to his past self, something I've wished I could do a thousand times. I'm still fuzzy on the whole time thing and how past Viktor even exists to send Jayce back in time but his words man...

"There is no prize to perfection. Only an end to pursuit. Only you can show me this." - Viktor

"There is beauty in imperfections. They made you who you are. An inseparable piece of everything... I admired about you." - Jayce

It's so sad how Jayce strayed from Viktor in season 1. They should've been together the whole time, because love would have given Viktor a lot of the answer-- peace-- he was looking for. If you fall in true love, disability isn't hated. Disability and imperfection is loved. But I have an extremely hard time accepting that could be true for me (that unique god-chosen but really prime human exceptionalism/emo ego mindset popping out), so I understand why others can't understand it for themselves. I can see how beautiful love is for others including the fact that it can find those that feel unlovable but I feel like I'll always be that outside person, not inside.

​That someone could look at me at my worst... on my bad days... and not lose respect or affection or desire feels more unrealistic than my dream of a world without capitalism. Jayce saying that the worst can even be what makes you beautiful was so romantic and sad and I have to admit, true. The scene where Viktor holds the rune, Jayce wraps his hands around it, the rune flashes and throws Jayce off, Viktor is scared and in pain, and Jayce comes back again was such a perfect visualization of what it is to love someone disabled... the coming back even if we cause accidental pain. It makes me happy that Jayce finally knows that's what Viktor needs because it makes me think somebody out there could see that's what I need. It also feels horribly embarrassing and vulnerable but this story and Queliot tell me that's okay because sometimes we are majorly depressed and vulnerable. That which causes us our deepest pain also provides an opportunity for greater love. It's freaking beautiful.

Arcane is so sad because they do mirrors phenomenally well. Viktor and Jayce, Viktor and Jinx, Jinx and Vi, Ekko and Powder/Jinx, Caitlyn and Vi, Caitlyn and Jinx, Jinx & Silco, Vi and Vander... a lot of pairs with immense love. Relationships really get me but I like to think I get relationships too. I wonder if I'll write more about Arcane... lowkey I just wanna say Jinx is totally alive and I hope Ekko is living his best fucking life version 2.0

*I watched a video essay that describes Viktor from the beginning as compassionate and ambitious. The kindness within him makes him an alluring personality and it’s pleasing to know others see the good side too. I don’t know why, but it is.