March 22nd, 2025

For most of my life I've regarded myself as individual and unique but honestly, I just feel like a bunch of different things. I didn't expect to become a jack of all trades and master of none... and sometimes I like to think I'm at least a master at being myself... but my interests end up being crazy varied and only amateurly pursued.

I feel like I fit in somewhere... behind everything, maybe, and not really at the front. I want to be the paper that people write on. There in the background like support from the inside and periphery. I want people to read my stuff-- one thing-- and come out with a variety of knowledge. I hope that's okay and satisfactory and attractive to people even though I know there are much more attractive things out there. I am just a small protein in the organism of Earth with my own miniscule function.

Times of great stress lead me to be thoughtful and more fruitful than easier times. After rearranging my room and setting a deadline, I worked 3 hours straight on my rug and it is now a yard in diameter. I have more fabric than I anticipated and I can truly go bigger. I might just do as much as I can until the 25th, photograph it, then continue working on it until I finish the fabric. I'm glad I held onto the other fabrics I have because after 5 years, I know what I want to do with them. I am allowing myself to be inspired by nature and simplicity and create the night sky.

I'm also about to add pics of my first rug cuz I think everyone's forgotten that I've done this before! It is pretty and it is good practice to put myself out there along with documentation... I have become remarkably bad at that due to lack of access to technology. I'm simply broke babes... no more cameras for me :(