First published on Substack and made a small instagram post to reach the masses, but it's not feeling like the method I want to convey this information in. I have huge posterboards or whiteboards I'd want to put together, if I had the space and resources I'd show the world how to understand things differently but I am still bound to typing, forget hand-drawing & don't write in notebooks often enough. My therapist told me to try doing something for myself so I think I'll take out the poster board and start plotting the story of Jeffrey Epstein, mapping his existence because it's not fully clear to everyone the way he worked. 

These incompetent leaders need to stop bombing civilians and actually fucking fight each other if they really have a problem. None of the powers actually care about human life, this civilian death is so unnecessary. You want to hurt each other? You go for the personal. Get your conflict out of regular people's lives and duke it out in a fucking mansion. They don't have the courage to face each other and fight though, which seems to be part of the problem. Why do cowards win? Is someone truly born a coward without any capacity for courage? 

How can you shame someone that's proud of everything they do? How do they not feel shame? Is it something not every human has the ability to feel? 

Rewatching videos on my instagram highlights, I momentarily put myself in the aggressor's shoes. If I was the aggressor watching this, would I like what I was seeing? Would I be  sad? Would I feel connected to myself in the video or be depersonalized? 

Putting myself in the perspectives of Zionists was not a natural empathetic action. I thought of it like I was literally removing my brain from my head and placing it into another body. I've heard the term "radical empathy" before (most recently in You season 5, when Beck is describing Bronte's writings) and it kinda feels like that. It also has changed from a mechanized process of removal to a shift where I'm on the same battleground, but on the other side. There are sides in our society and I don't mind outlining mine. Anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism, anti-white supremacy (which I feel encompasses a lot of discrimination like racism, sexism, ableism, queerphobia, and so much more). I consider my side to be pro-love and pro-humanity. 

I feel shame when I am not as loving as I could've been. Why don't others feel the same?

**Updating the date to reflect when new messages are sent!

October 2024: In April and May I tried to engage with some prominent Columbia Zionists because I was getting sick of their shit. I've never been one to ignore a problem and arguably attack them before I have a set game plan, and I admit I was caught off guard by them trying to make TikToks when I approached them for a conversation outside the encampment. But after my letter, I've had months to interact with them and really interrogate why they believe what they believe. One girl said she'd respond, but ghosted me the whole summer into September when she suddenly deactivated her Instagram account. Another girl has filters for non-verified profiles, so I'm not sure she's ever seen my messages. But I had a mildly productive two and a half hour conversation with the male Columbia Zionist who co-wrote that "In Our Name" letter... after our conversation though, he went back to ignoring me/regurgitating Zionist propaganda like a perfect drone. They can't explain themselves and they don't care.

I admit, I was delusional like this once in my long-term high school relationship. I had a boyfriend who gaslit me and I was already a traumatized person, so it was easy to take advantage of me. It must be very sad and depersonalizing to be so indoctrinated into Zionist beliefs. Do they know who they are without this identity? Do they have any friends or a community outside of Zionism? I imagine inner turmoil waiting to be released, and sadly I do wish they go through major depressive episodes/existential crises and contemplate what it means to be human. I don't think they've thought about that enough and I think that's on purpose, a manipulation of younger generations to serve old and bitter purposes. I have had two major depressive episodes (lasting months) and went through existential crises before I had the words to understand what that was. I know every single person in Gaza, every person from newborn babies to 100-year old great-grandparents, is going through their own turmoil right now. It is not only a battle for their land but a battle for their minds, and echoing a sentiment I saw most recently espoused by Harvard's SJP: bring the war home. Bring the devastation back to the people who cause it, who support it, who profit and derive pleasure and privilege from it. That's what I mean when I say I hope Zionists suffer mentally, because the whole fucking issue is that too many are privileged while too many are dying. Because you lack the empathy to feel the pain of others, I'm hoping that personal pain comes to you.

I've been DMing the male Columbia Zionist sporadically when I need to vent about how awful Zionism is. I'll always criticize them to their face because they're the ones that deserve it, imo lowkey more than liberals who keep co-opting movements and making weird non-progress. I feel 99% certain that I'd fight a Trump supporter before fighting a Kamala supporter. I'm fighting both (a Trumpie and a Zionist) when I hit him with my words and it's satisfying as hell. I'm glad to have grown more in organizing spaces and develop a deeper understanding of propaganda and media, because it truly is a controller of society & people.

I hear Zionists incessantly send their friends/people they know all their propaganda and I thought I'd do the opposite/the same thing? with Zionists and pro-Palestinian propaganda. Over the months I've sent some videos and images of the destruction I see in Palestine because I don't think Zionists see that on their feed. It truly costs nothing for me to DM someone so why wouldn't I do it? I've already been yelling into the void here for 3 years, so I might as well rage at a Zionist hellbent on ignoring me anyways.

Thanks for reading besties ;)

To the Zionist students of Columbia,

​I want to start by saying I am not Jewish, but I felt it appropriate to respond since you addressed this letter to the whole Columbia community which includes me. I consider myself to be part of the pro-Palestinian movement both on campus and off. You came to this school to engage in complex conversations, so I’m starting a complex conversation with you. ​